How cool is that?!

To buy cK underwear - how is that for an ambition??!!

Funny people

You know who the funniest among the lot?
- The guy drunk silly trying to convince you, and probably himself, that his drunken state has not affected his judgement.
- The seasoned flirt casting his magic.
- The traffic conscious guy trying to cross the busy road without zebra crossing.
- Kids, in whatever they do.

They all are earnest in what they do. It is just that I have this seizure of giggle watching them.

Freaking Freezing

Rain, Flood, Storm, Twister, Tornado, Hail, Snow, Bad hair day – name it and it is now in New Zealand. For the records, bad weather makes me crazier than normal. I tried this new mustache and I drew comparison with Hulk Hogan. P was laughing his head off at the comment till the dot under his lower lip that he deliberately leaves behind while shaving was described as ‘beauty spot’. Ha... Ha... Hulk Hogan was forgotten instantaneously.

Walking back from work, I thought the water level in the Viaduct Harbour has risen considerably. Is it real? May be I am just hallucinating as usual. For some reason, that reminded me that I cannot swim. I have spent all my life in the costal area and I cannot swim. I know that living in coastal area does not make swimming skills mandatory. The point is – I cannot swim. Damn.

Milord!

Ages ago.
At the School.
Moral Science classes.
Was taught not to judge others.

Right now
At the work.
Performance appraisals.
Am asked to judge others.

Just wondering... Is my job immoral???

This world is weird.

Piece of brilliance found by the road

"Laughter is the best medicine". Can there be a more incomplete statement? So incomplete that it is sometimes misleading. It is a relief that Cancer and AIDS patients are not prescribed laughter as cure to their disease.

Then you come across a statement that puts everything in place. Isn't it brilliant?


Some statements are so incomplete that you remember them for their sheer stupidity. Years ago I saw a poster naming some politician as the 'Leader of Tamil race'. I was like - What the heck. Where did this joker come from, who proclaims himself as my leader? By the way, when did Tamils become a race? But that is a different blog-worthy debate by itself.

Getting back to our topic, why would somebody volunteer to be my leader when I do not need one? The statement on the poster should have been more specific. It should have been more precise by naming him the leader of a bunch of idiots and losers.

Hmmm...

You know what is the scariest of the scares?
It is sitting in the couch, alone in your apartment, watching some stupid sitcom, laughing so loud that you are scared by your own voice...

April Fool!

Morning. Promised myself that I will finish off work and leave office on time today.

Looked at the watch while leaving office. 9 PM.

May be I April fooled myself.

It is not just April. It happens every month. Almost everyday.

This foolish life sucks. Damn.

Coincidence

From apartment to Foodtown. From Foodtown back to apartment. I tailed this kid and her father. I didn't plan to, it just happened. Coincidence. That is the word. Coincidence. The kid was so chirpy and was swinging holding her dad's arm, it was kind of pleasant to watch. I was not stalking. Not them. I was stalking the TV presenter. That too only at Foodtown. Actually I was just curious to see how his funny mustache and beard looked like in real.

The other day I saw a couple of Smashproof's at Lim Chhour. It was P who recognized them. I didn't even though their Brother is the current NZ chart topper. Check out Gin in that song. Wow. What a voice she has got. When you have goose bump hearing a voice, you got to be impressed. I certainly am. These Roses is another sample.

What is fun?

There was this group at the stadium. The Dhol guy was obviously its epicenter. He played his dhol, the group sung and danced to his tunes. They were visibly having a good time.

Security: Sir, you cannot play it here.

The group looked at each other. One of them volunteered to be the mouthpiece.

Mouthpiece: We are just having some fun...
Security: I appreciate that Sir. But, we should also allow others to watch the game and have a good time.

How can she be so naive? We want to have fun and we have fun. It ends there. The others better learn our style of fun. Or, they can go to hell. How can she expect us to think about others?

After an animated discussion among themselves, the group decided to move away. By that time, the whole section of the stadium was watching them. The dhol guy was convinced that he had gained a huge fan-following. He did not want to disappoint them. He played his dhol while moving away.


The group found themselves a new place. The dhol guy let his music flow. Security of that area approached them with the same set of expectations as the previous one. The group was quite agitated this time. They let loose a large amount of curses in Hindi and a few in English. The security guy presented them a saintly face. He made a great effort to show that his thoughts too were saintly.

The dhol guy realized that he should let the security know that he was not pleased. He said - "You got it? You got it? You got it?". He was repeating himself for a very long time. May be the quantity of booze he had consumed did not help him in remembering that he had already said what he was about to say.


This way, the band kept changing its location only to face a different security with the same set of demands. The group moved around all through the match in search of the right security who would see nothing wrong in their style of having fun. They were not very lucky that day.

What is fun if is fun for others too?

Green Country on the Green Day

Saint Patrick's Day. Surprised to find that Green has so many shades. People were dressed in their greenest best. Green dress, green fake beard and green hat. I was reminded of the Pakistan Cricket team's stalker for obvious reasons.

May be people preferred Sprite to Coke, Dutch Heineken to Kiwi Tui, Subway to Mc Donald's on this day.

Green was everywhere. Even the showroom dummies wore green.

Garbage bins and bags were green.

On second thought, I think they were always green.

I remember my green laptop - Sheesha. There was this on-going gag that it belonged to martians. Sheesha would have felt happy on this day.

Me?

Met R the other evening. He was walking with a distinct limp. Had the formal hi-how-do-you-do. Nodded at the customary “Are you still in your first job?”.
He then went on – “Hey, you know what? I did a big mistake man. You remember H? My boss received his resume and he asked for my opinion about H. I thought it was you and gave a, you know, glowing review. I said that he is among the best resources available”.
“Wow! Do you think so? Thanks man. H too is good at what he does”.
“He is. Why I am saying this is because I messed up with names and faces”.

What R said may be far from truth. It may be the greatest overstatement of the year. But, it feels wonderful to hear something like this about yourself.

R is recovering from a recent surgery. Get well soon buddy! By the way, were you on medication when we had that conversation?

On a totally unrelated note, the lime drink I got yesterday tastes like paint. I should stick to cola. I prefer antiseptic to paint.

Kiwi sense of humour

Quite impressive :)

Samples:
The Crowd Goes Wild [Youtube],
Flight of the Concords [Youtube],
The Unauthorised History of New Zealand [Youtube],
Pulp Sport [Youtube].

Tale of two shoes

Have you ever thought why you did certain thing the way you did it and not a certain other way? Well, I do it all the time. I got the boots alright. Why didn’t I notice that it is hard soled and it is so noisy that people turn around expecting to see a horse when I walk? I wear my headphones and pretend not hear anything.

I had in fact admired those noisy army boots when I was in NCC. That was like a million years ago during my under graduation. It was a short but horrible experience. I learnt a few things about myself before I was kicked out of NCC. I cannot shout even if it is to save my own life (I prefer to describe the situation as that of delicate vocal cord). I cannot walk straight, let alone marching.

I hope I had chosen a less-pointed pair of shoes. Scared people jumping out of my way, is all fine. But, why don’t I see many wearing pointed shoes? Is it true that they belong to the 80s fashion?

Air NewZealand

Of the same theme... But, equally gripping.
Daughter
Husband
Son

Cute little songs...

Some really cute albums on air… The Ting Tings. I am sure you will have a wide smile when you here their That’s Not My Name and Shut Up And Let Me Go.

And then this refreshingly naughty song by Katy Perry. I wouldn't be surprised if it is banned back at home :)

Information is everywhere...

Subscribers roaming outside the country are charged extra for incoming SMS.

Damn.

We have been professing vigorously that the freaking networks of the foreign operators are sending multiple CDRs for Mobile Terminating SMS.

J: Extra charging happens only on Tariff Plan X. Charging is fine on Tariff Plan Y.

Bloody Hell. Why does God hate me so much? This may potentially mean that the problem is not with the networks but at our end. There you go. As though we don’t have enough problems already.

T: How do you say that?
J: Check this MSISDN XYZ. This guy is currently roaming in China and he is charged correctly for the SMS he receive. He has subscribed to Tariff Plan Y.

J was right. And there was no clue on why it was so. When you don’t find what you are looking for, you end up looking into what you generally are least interested in. T finds the name of subscriber... And Googles it...

Goodness gracious! It is the silver medalist at Beijing!!

So, that is how J gets his information about roaming subscribers.

Cool K

K mailed the team - "I am off tomorrow. My son’s 21st. See you guys on Thursday".

Me: What does 21st mean?
K: Age.
Me: What? Is your son 21 years old??
K: No... He is 8, going 9. But he thinks that he is 21.

K is the kind of hulky guy you wouldn’t fancy in the rugby team playing against you. He had actually played professional rugby in UK and NZ. He says - “My body wouldn’t take any more toll and I switched to IT”. His biceps would easily be 2 - 3 times as mine. He then startles you by declaring - “I am the smaller one in the family”.

He coaches an under-20 rugby team in his free time. His favourite Monday morning quotes are:
“Weather was so horrible that we couldn’t practise”
“My boys lost... But my son‘s team won”

Me: Any plan for tomorrow?
K: I‘ll take my son to a movie.
Me: Decided on the movie?
K: Hmmm... Not yet. Is there any good one
Me: The Dark Knight.
K: What is that?
Me: The new Batman flick. Current top-grosser.
K: Is it certified PG?
T: It is rated M. Reviews say that it is very violent.
T is Mr. Read-all-reviews :)
Me: Then, how about Mama Mia?
The whole cubicle turned towards us and said “NO...” in unison.

K is fun. I am sure he is a cool dad.

Happy Birthday, Junior-K!!!

Getafix

They are obsessed with Asterix characters. They named the project Getafix. And the testers were like - “There you go. Another defect. Get-a-fix”. The project went live and they found the mother of all defects. Probably they should have named it something like Gotafix or Alreadyfixed.

S cut his hair short. That makes me the sole hippie in the gang. Yoohoo!

My damned weekend

The freaking MMS are not rated correctly. And I had to attend to that on Saturday. The whole North Island was locked inside their homes in the storm and there I was at the office trying to figure out why MMS was rated as WAP. So much for being on-call during weekends.

Dude, I am what you call the rating guy. I can try to fix problems if they are with rating. If the problem is at GGSN or MMSC, I am as helpless as you are. Get the networks guys to look into it, buddy.

Wow!!!

Wow!
What a game it was!!
I was like one long roller-coaster ride. Never a dull moment.
Two top magicians casting magic at will.
At the end of the day, there is one winner, no matter how valiantly the other had fought.
Enchanting show, Rafael!
You have to return the tribute, Roger. Prepare for the next French Open.
What a game it was!!
Wow!