Ordeal with the brand new tennis buff

Highlights of French Open women quarterfinal matches were on TV. I had missed the live telecast earlier that day. Roomie was insomniac that night. He had recently caught this tennis fever. He was religiously into his mission of accumulating as much knowledge about tennis as possible. I am allergic to the hyper enthusiastic ones. I consider myself a pro in keeping them at an arm’s length away. But this time, my proficiency and luck let me pathetically down. Nicole Vaidisova Vs Venus Williams match was the third in the list. We watched through the highlights of Clijsters’ and Svetelana’s matches. Then came the highlights of Vaidisova match.

Me: [Boy! Is she cute?]*
Him: Isn’t she the one who beat Mauresmo?
Me: Yes. [Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: She comes back strongly after losing the first set. She has got good composure, hasn’t she?
Me: Yeah. [Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Composure is the most important thing in tennis. The champions are always the ones with good composure. Isn’t it so?
Me: Right [There is something called talent, buddy. Composure without talent means nothing. I had truckloads of composure. But, kids half my age and quarter my height used to beat me. Talent rules my dear. John Mc Enroe didn’t have a drop of composure… Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: She doesn’t allow loss of closely fought games to affect her. She is like Federer and Nadal.
Me: Yeah. [That is what is meant by composure, dude. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Mauresmo can’t play.
Me: Well, She didn’t play as well as she is capable of, when she lost to Vaidisova. [Hey! She is the top player in the world, for god’s sake. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Is it? But, she looks old.
Me: A bit. [But, she certainly can play. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Even Clijsters is old and fat.
Me: She is not old. And, I think she has just got a larger frame. [Come on, man. If you call her fat, what do you call me? Obese? By the way, Clijster has got wonderful court coverage. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: So, you say Henin would win the title…
Me: She is the best among the current lot. [Isn’t it obvious?? Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: May be you are right. She has got good composure too.
Me: Correct. [What is it with you and composure? Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Also she plays effortlessly. Her shots are compact and economical.
Me: Mmmmm… [What the hell! There is nothing more ruthless in women tennis than Henis’s backhand, dude. I think you would call Lara’s back-lift as compact and economical. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: How do you say that playing on clay is different from playing on grass court?
Me: Blah... Blah... Blah... [Hey! How many time should I have to repeat that for you? Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: So, you say that a lot of guys around can beat Nadal easily on grass.
Me: you got it. [Please don’t get into its details. Not again. Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: So, Federer is the best. Isn’t he?
Me: Of course. He is the Numero Uno. [How can I escape? Shall I act asleep of shall I go to my room? But, Vaidisova’s match is not yet over… Boy! Is she cute?]
Him: Isn’t Vaidisova cute?
Me: Well… I think so.

The newest leggy girl of tennis, Vaidisova beat the proven leggy champion, Venus. I went to my room to sleep, without watching Henin (who, I guess, could go on to retain the title) match.

[]* - Thought bubble.

Yesterday, Svetelana beat Vaidisova in the semi final match.