To the Smokin’ Joe
Dear Smokin’ Joe*,
How are you? Well, that was just a formality, because I very well know that you are sound and thriving – as omnipresent as cockroach alone is. You follow me wherever I go. In my country I saw you mostly in men. Here I see you in a lot of women too.
I see you in a lot of my colleagues. They have this spooky habit of disappearing from their seats in the middle of critical jobs. When they reappear, they bring either the smell of mint or that horrible smell of yours with them. The good news is that I don’t get this sensation as though I am going to puke at your smell anymore. May be, I have got used to your smell. But, even today you never fail to annoy me.
I see you in my namesake at the office. She asks me to attend her calls when she does her disappearing acts. Now I am used to saying, “I am sorry. I don’t understand Dutch. Can you speak in English please?”. Well, she is a receptionist, you see and she gets an awful lot of calls. I am so used to saying those lines that people tell me that I say them even when I sleep. She has got a room without fire alarm. So, sometimes she has what she fondly calls a fag, with her doors closed and windows open, just to make sure that the fire alarm in the adjacent room is not triggered. Do you know how much I hate to enter her room during or soon after her fag sessions?
And yeah... I did notice you in those 'gori' teenaged girls at Madras airport, who were buying those large bundles of ‘Seyadu Beedi’ in the duty-free shop. I see you in all those men and women who smoke non-stop and spit all over the bus stops and tram stops.
Do you know how much I hate you? When I spot you in people near me, I stare at them so hard that they conclude that I am crazy for sure. If only stares could kill, I would be the greatest assassin humans have ever come across.
I know that people possessed by you become dumb. All they care is the thrill you give them when their lungs are filled with your nicotinic fumes. They never care about me, who hates you like hell but still have to inhale what they exhale. And then, they spit all over my sweet world. They annoy me with their thunderous asthmatic coughs. Why should I care about those morons who don’t care about me? Why should I be bothered about you leading those dumb creatures to a horrible coughing death?
Smokin’ Joe* - Smoke/smoking.
How are you? Well, that was just a formality, because I very well know that you are sound and thriving – as omnipresent as cockroach alone is. You follow me wherever I go. In my country I saw you mostly in men. Here I see you in a lot of women too.
I see you in a lot of my colleagues. They have this spooky habit of disappearing from their seats in the middle of critical jobs. When they reappear, they bring either the smell of mint or that horrible smell of yours with them. The good news is that I don’t get this sensation as though I am going to puke at your smell anymore. May be, I have got used to your smell. But, even today you never fail to annoy me.
I see you in my namesake at the office. She asks me to attend her calls when she does her disappearing acts. Now I am used to saying, “I am sorry. I don’t understand Dutch. Can you speak in English please?”. Well, she is a receptionist, you see and she gets an awful lot of calls. I am so used to saying those lines that people tell me that I say them even when I sleep. She has got a room without fire alarm. So, sometimes she has what she fondly calls a fag, with her doors closed and windows open, just to make sure that the fire alarm in the adjacent room is not triggered. Do you know how much I hate to enter her room during or soon after her fag sessions?
And yeah... I did notice you in those 'gori' teenaged girls at Madras airport, who were buying those large bundles of ‘Seyadu Beedi’ in the duty-free shop. I see you in all those men and women who smoke non-stop and spit all over the bus stops and tram stops.
Do you know how much I hate you? When I spot you in people near me, I stare at them so hard that they conclude that I am crazy for sure. If only stares could kill, I would be the greatest assassin humans have ever come across.
I know that people possessed by you become dumb. All they care is the thrill you give them when their lungs are filled with your nicotinic fumes. They never care about me, who hates you like hell but still have to inhale what they exhale. And then, they spit all over my sweet world. They annoy me with their thunderous asthmatic coughs. Why should I care about those morons who don’t care about me? Why should I be bothered about you leading those dumb creatures to a horrible coughing death?
Smokin’ Joe* - Smoke/smoking.
posted by Inder | 10:12 AM
6 Comments:
smoking is the worse thing that can happen ever. i dn know what joy people find in smoking. but i definitely want to try it out once in my life.and many of my friends hae an objection to it though.
by smoking, poeple not only kill themselves but murder nonsmokers too. in india,a ban on smoking in public places is NOT implemented as usual. i don know when our country is ever going to get out of this shit corruption! god only knows.
that was really well crafted... :)
"Why should I care about those morons who don’t care about me?" -- they dont care about themselves in the first place,, why care about others???
Kavya,
All the very best for your adventure. But, do not breath out smoke into my precious world. Try to swallow it.
Susmita,
You got it :)
i have second thoughts of carrying out my adventure though. i wont smoke out into your very precious world. do not worry
Kavya,
Thanks :)
second hand smoke does not kill. fact. a myth peddles by anti-smoking nazis. smoking may be unpleasant and you can certainly object to it on that level, but don't say the second hand smoke can gibe you cancer because it just ain't true
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