Almost alone @ Cinema Hall

Vacuumed the house, cooked lunch, dumped the previous week’s dresses into the washing machine and we were free for the rest of Sunday. J and I went to Pathe to watch ‘The Shaggy dog’ in the afternoon, while H preferred to watch the live telecast of French Open final.

Pathe was deserted. There was a small group glued to a television set. Holland’s first World Cup match was being telecasted live. We entered the hall 10 minutes before the show. Nobody else was there. With Holland’s World Cup match, French Open final, bright sun and Scheveningen beach right outside Pathe, a matinee would naturally be pretty down in the preference list of the Dutch. Even if they decide to watch a movie, ‘The Shaggy Dog’ would be the last preference.

J and I counted the number of seats in the hall. There were 200 of them. We realized that we were in a scenario, which is exactly the opposite to that of Musical Chairs. In Musical Chairs, the count of people would be more than that of chairs. But, there were 200 chairs at disposal for the two of us. The movie length was 98 minutes. After intricate calculation, we found out that 4 chairs would be left un-sat even if we change chairs every half a minute. We then concluded that we could solve this problem if we start changing chairs while the ads are screened. We congratulated each other for our brilliance. J elaborated his similar experience of watching Aasai at Madras in an almost empty cinema hall. We came to the conclusion that lots of things happen the same way all over the world. This time we congratulated each other for the philosophers within us.

Seconds before the ads were screened, a Chinese family dropped in (To me, Japanese, Taiwanese, Nepali and the rest of east Asians are all Chinese). Dad, mom and four noisy children of the same height. Quadruplets??? Every kid was carrying popcorn buckets half their size. I wondered how the parents would manage situations like a kid falling in the popcorn bucket while trying to pick popcorn from the bottom of the bucket. I came up with a brilliant idea. They can pick two kids each and assign themselves to be in charge of them. They can sit in between the two kids they select and watch them from falling into the popcorn buckets, while the kids watch the movie. I was about to pass on this wonderful idea to the Chinese parents when I heard loud noises behind me. A mini kindergarten had entered the hall. There were seven hyperactive kids followed by two middle-aged women. I started wondering how the two women could look after seven kids. I couldn’t think of any decent solution. The women made the kids sit in a row and they sat in the row behind the kids. What a brilliant idea. This way, those women can have all the kids in their view. The women were certainly a lot smarter than me.

‘The Shaggy Dog’ was a wonderful movie. The important thing is that you should leave your brain outside the cinema hall while you watch the movie. You should also believe that there is nothing in this world called logic and should forget the usage of words like ‘Why’ and ‘How’. The movie is about a 300 years old dog which lives with Tibetan monks and which can meditate. Those bitten by the dog would develop doggish characteristics and end up becoming dogs for random periods. I loved that movie.

While travelling back home, I say a guy in Orange T-shirt and Orange shorts with an orange lion tail. He had painted the Holland flag (Blue, white and red) on his face. His hair was coloured orange. His dog was dressed in an orange cloth. He was under the influence of Smokin’ Joe and was visibly high-spirited. It was so very clear that Holland had won its opening World Cup match.